Dealing with Teen Sibling Conflicts
Raising a teenager is difficult enough, but how about when you have teen siblings? As a mom of 4, I went through the “teen sibling” stage twice; my older 2 are 17 months apart in age, and so are my younger two, with a 5 year spread between them. So, while my older two were exiting the teen years, my younger two were entering them. It’s been a fun ride.
One of the biggest struggles raising teen siblings is the constant conflict. My kids are girl, boy, boy, girl, so I didn’t have two female teens at the same time, thank goodness (I mean that the most loving way), but still there were conflicts.
How to Resolve Teen Sibling Conflicts
Before you can resolve any conflict, you must know the cause of the conflict. What has happened that is causing your teens to butt heads? Perhaps there is a difference in personality types; such as, one sibling is a neat freak and the other is not. Or perhaps there one is struggling with a deeper issue and is lashing out. Or perhaps, they are just two normal people who live in the same house and are just sick of each other. Whatever it is, find out the root cause of the conflict first; of course that’s not as easy as it sounds.
Your teens may not want you involved and reject your intervention. Don’t force yourself in the middle of it; simply offer to be there if they want your advice. Of course, if the conflict is getting too far out of hand, you may have to step in, whether they like it or not.
Allowing your teens to resolve their own conflicts will help them to be able to do so when they are adults. You might suggest sitting in while they work out their differences, so you can put in your thoughts and advice, and then allow them to decide if they want to take your advice or not. I don’t know how many times I’ve had my advice rejected, only to have my teens come back to me later and say they wish they would have listened.
As parents, we want to help our kids avoid mistakes and wish they would listen to us. But, just think; if we hadn’t been allowed to make mistakes as teens, would we be able to help our teens now? What if we hadn’t experienced any of the issues and circumstances that life throws at us? Would we be able to survive a job loss or a broken relationship now as adults?
When it comes to raising teen siblings, there will be lots of conflicts. As their parent, just letting your teen know you’re there for them for advice and instruction is often enough. However, if you sense your teen is struggling with something deeper than normal teen hormones or sibling rivalry, you may need additional, outside help.
Honest Parenting is truly helpful information that is easy to understand and absolutely works to help you build (or RE-build) a positive, pleasant, and productive relationship with your child or teen.
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